Artery Is Missing
by Clovers-Charm
Summary: Lord Loss goes searching for Artery. What a funny journey! Oneshot-SS


**Yes People! Another crazy idea! Once again this will include Lord Loss being strange. Vein being a bitch. Artey being no where. And of course me and my two friends, Lauren and Beth. I would have added my other friends but I decided not do. I hope you enjoy it anyway and keep reviewing my stories I will try and do more of these Lord Loss stories again!**

**OK, so enjoy my story and Review!**

**MISSING ARTERY**

* * *

Lord Loss was walking passed like normal, he was planning on fetching Artery and Vein because he had a human coming soon and he wanted them ready to terrify them. As he went into their private torture room he stopped to see Vein on the ground licking her private part like an animal... Ok she _was_ an animal but that wasn't the point!

"Vein!" he barked making her jump "Is Artery in here?" he frowned

"Nope" Vein growled and grinned showing her teeth

"Stay here" Lord Loss said and went in search of his demon familiar.

"Okey Dokey Smokey!" Vein beamed

Lord Loss stopped and shook his head, she did_ not _just say that. He sighed and continued on, pretty soon he had looked around and spoken to every single demon in the castle, no one had seen or heard from Artery. It was very strange and he made his way back to the throne room where the human girl was looking around and waiting.

"Oh... Go away" he said when he saw her frowning

"What?! I cam all this way and-" she began

"I do not care, I am in search of Artery" he said and left her like that. "Where on Earth is he... Looks like he is missing! This is a job for..." _Dramatic Music_ "...Lord Loss Guy! The best researched in demon history!"

"Aw shut up!" Came a voice

"You shut up!" Lord Loss retaliated

"Come here are say that!" it called

"Alright" Lord Loss strode from the castle and froze, there stood the biggest and ugliest demon master ever, also a very strong one at that. Lord Loss let out a small squeak before the other demon master punched him in the face and he flew back into the castle.

"Lord Loss guy away!" Vein called out

"Aw... shut up... Vein" Lord Loss moaned dizzily

********

Lord Loss started with going to the normal human world, a place he often saw Artery staring at, he thought maybe the demon was here. He showed up wearing an old stripped santa clause tie and even older detective hat with a notepad and pen. Some people stared at him but he just stuck out his grey tongue and gave them the finger.

"Now then, lets get a investigating" Lord Loss said, he went to the nearest girl, a large girl with black hair and dark clothes, she was sitting on a bench with a drawing pad on her lap, very carefully sketching a doodle. He approached her and tapped her shoulder.

"Huh what when why who?" The girl looked up with a start, she had been sleep drawing. Lord Loss found this creepy but ignored it and spoke.

"I am looking for a green mishapen creature... Can you help me?" Lord Loss said holding the pad and pen up

"My mum's at tesco!" cried the girl

"...OK then... Good for your mother... Now... about the little green creature" Lord Loss said

"I have honey in my ears!" she shouted

"...Ew..."

"Monkeys are teaming with the unicorns to take over!"

"...What?!"

"Mum bring me some bannana pickles!"

"WTF is wrong with you"

"I like frogs!"

"Look! Just tell me about the-"

"PIGGIES!"

"You know what, screw this! I had a better chance in the bloody demon world" Lord Loss turned away and began to leave

"Tehehehehehehe" he heard a laughing behind him

Gulping he began to move faster.

********

Now he was in the woods. He had been gluiding for some time and needed a rest, he found a nice branch and sat down, he looked at his notes so far. _'Stay away from creepy goth girl with drawing book and black hair, find out her name' _It also had _'Name discovers, Beth... The name of evil'_ he shivered and put the note book away, dont ask where he put it since he had no real clothes on but he put it somewhere.

Then he heard a rustle. He frowned and stood up, looking around, it didnt seem to come from anywhere. He went to sit back down when something jumped out from the shadows. It looked like some kind of wild beast like bear. It hacked and growled slightly then suddenly stood up and brushed itself down, stepping out the shadows Lord Loss saw it wasnt a wild animal... but a little girl.

**(AN: Maxine is me, but this character, althought based on me, ACTS and DRESSES nothing like me, its part of the micky take, just so some people know *cough*laurenandbeth*cough*)**

She was barely more than sixteen years old. She was an average height and size with short brown hair tied back. She wore a bright pink shirt with goldern writting that said "These belong to Lord Loss" and a skirt to match with lord Loss' face over them. She had no shoes or socks on and was filthy.

She looked up, her eyes widened. She stared at him he he rose a hairless eyebrow **(AN: how else do you describe that expression!? lol) **at her. Then she opened her mouth and suddenly cheered.

"Lord Loss! Lord Loss! Lord Loss! Lord Loss!" she shouted jumping up and down

"Who are you?" Lord Loss frowned

"A... friiiiiiiieeeeend" she beamed

"...Well friend... can you help me?" Lord Loss tried

"Sure!" she gasped

"Have you seen a small green like thing?" Lord Loss asked

"Yes" she nodded

"Really! Where?!" lord loss asked

"there" she pointed to his face "In your right nostral"

"No not there!" he shouted and slapped her hand away

"OW that hurt!" she cried

"Good" he snarled

She suddenly held it out and said in a very baby voice "Kiss it better"

"Um? No" he stepped back

"NO DO NOT LEEEAVE MEEEEE!" she jumped and grabbed some of his skin where his feet should be

"Let go!" he snapped and began to slap at her

"Ow! Now you gotta kiss that better! Ow and that to! Ow! Yay more kisses!"

********

Lord Loss was wandering around in town, ignoring the looks he got from people. He was very annoyed now, no matter what magic did or how many times he hurt that girl she just seemed to chase after him and demand he kiss her "Bruiseies all better".

He was so tired, he would check one more spot before heading back to his home world to see if Artery came back at all. He spotted a Hotel and went inside, there seemed to be a party going on. He ignored this and went to the counter.

"Look I will cut to the chase, I am looking for a small green demon, lice or some kind of crawling creature for hair, fire for eyes, teeth on his hands. Can you help me or not?" Lord Loss asked the man

The man looked a another man behind him, they both nodded and said at the exact same time "Lauren"

"Who?" lord Loss blinked

"Go see Lauren, she is in room 33" he gave Lord Loss a key "She'll have your help"

"Um... Thanks?"

Without another word Lord Loss went over to the lift, he went in and stood waiting after he pressed the button. He stood waiting when he began to listen to the elevator music, suddenly the lift stopped and a child and its mother stepped in Lord Loss stared at the child when he stuck his tongue out at the demon master. Lord Loss responded by stick out his own grey tongue. This child then pulled a face. lord Loss smirked by sending a snake to bite his hand.

Suddenly Lord Loss found himself being beaten with a handbag.

"OW QUIT IT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" he shouted and tried to shield himself

"Bite my son like that you animal" she continued to hit him then stopped and smiled "Heres our stop baby"

Lord Loss stared at the two as the doors closed, his jaw dropped and he sighed "I hate humans"

As he was waiting he stood when the doors opened again and an old man walked in, he stood waiting. He smiled and tipped his hat to lord Loss who responded by raised his finger to the old man.

"Today's youth" the old man sighed

"Youth! I am old enough to be your great great great great great great..."

**Many great's later...**

"...great great great-"

"I get it!" the old man snapped

"Oh no you did-nt" Lord Loss scowled

"Thats it" the old man smirked and suddenly began to break an awful load of wind

"Oh my lord!" Lord Loss cried "What have you been eating!" he waved a hand in front of his face as the old man laughed.

Soon lord Loss fell to the floor gasping for breath. Suddenly the doors opened and he dived out. The same woman with the child walked by and gasped

"You disgusting man!" she snapped

"It wasnt me! It was him!" he snapped back point at the man who smiled sweetly and tipped his hat to the woman

"Shame on you! Blaming an nice old man!" she began to hit him with her handbag again.

Once she was done Lord Loss pulled out his notebook and added _"Kill Old Men everywhere... and women with handbags"_

He went in a different elevator and waited to finally get to his floor. He stood there for a little longer and waited and waited as he listened to the music again, he smiled to himself.

"Kinda catchy" he nodded and slowly began to dance.

He began to dance more and more until his back was to the doors and he was shaking his bottom around. He only stopped when he heard someone cough, he looked around to see a crowd, staring at him oddly, he straighted up and scowled snapping.

"What?! Never seen a demon master do the jig before?" he sniffed and strode passed them.

He checked the rooms when he finally found room 33. He knocked and went in without waiting for an answer. Everything was black! Black walls black carpet black ceiling! Even the windows had been painted black! He frowned and looked around calling out "Hello" but recieving no answer. When suddenly something moved in the shadows and a girl stepped out.

She was tanned with black and blood red hair and a long silk black dress with no shoes or socks on, she stared at him for a minute through heavy black make up and suddenly bowed "Oh Lord Loss you have finally come"

"...Huh?" Lord Loss frowned

"I have been waiting oh please let me join your demon familiar, and may I suggest we raid and destroy Onslow School?" she asked

"What, who the fuck are you?!"

"Lauren, you can call me... Lauren" she said

"Look Lauren I am looking for a lil green dem-" Lord Loss began

"Artery, I know" she said darkly

"You mean you have him!" Lord Loss asked excitedly

"No I do not"

"...Do you know where he is?" Lord Loss asked

"No I do not"

"...Well I suppose that is it" Lord Loss went to leave when she was in front of him

"Wait! Take me with you!"

"Why the hell should I do that?" Lord Loss snorted

"Because I have been training for this my whole life" Lauren explained "I have grown my nails and sharpened them! I got dental to sharpen my teeth and I have been eating nothing by human flesh and blood for the past six years! I left my family and joined a monster circus and I even murder for no absolute reason whats so ever!"

"...Oooookay then... Crazy girl... Tell you what... You stay here and count to a hundred then I will make you one of my familiars" lord Loss said

"Really?!" she asked eyes widening

"Yeah sure, as fat as you know" he nodded

She suddenly began to count. "One two three four five six..."

Lord Loss ran from the room, slamming the doorm and running, he went to go in the elavator when he froze... There was the old man. Changing his mind he made for the stairs when he saw once again... the lady with the handbag. Making up her mind quick... He dived out the window.

"Why didnt he just take the other elevator?" The old man asked

"Or the other set of stairs?" the lady added, they shrugged and continued on

********

Lord loss moaned as he walked back to Vein's room. He had badly hurt most of his body, if he had any legs they would be broken, as were half of his arms and his neck. He was bruised and cut and most of the snakes in his whole wore bandages over their bodies. Vein lay on the carpet sound asleep.

"Wake up!" he snapped

She woke with a start "Oh hay lord loss... nice new look" she grinned

"Dont grin at me! How could you lose your brother!" he snapped at her angry as hell

"I didnt lose him"

"Then where the hell is he!" Lord Loss screamed

"In the toilet" Vein shrugged

"Are you telling me he was going for a bloody piss this whole time!" lord Loss asked quietly

"No. I mean In the toilet... I trapped him in there"

"Why?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time" Vein shrugged

Lord Loss blinked and scowled "Then how come you NEVER TOLD ME!"

"You never asked" Vein shrugged

"Yes I did!"

"No you asked if he was in here, I said no, he's in there" she nodded to the loo

Lord Loss left eye began to twitch and he stared at Vein, if possible he began to grow an ever darker shade of red

"Your eye is twitching with anger" Vein noted, Lord Loss nodded "I should run" Vein noted again and once again Lord Loss nodded.

Vein howled and began to run from the room, Lord Loss shortly behind her, chasing her for the next six days.

**Meanwhile in the loo...**

"Vein! Hello!" Came Artery as he sat in the water, tapping on the lid that was tightly shut "Can I come out now!"

When he got no reply he began to sulk, he looked at his hands and sighed.

"You two know how to play eyespy?" he asked

"We have mouth's not eyes" the right noted

"And we cant even talk" said the left

"Then how come I can hear you?" Artery asked

"I tried to tell you not to drink the water" they laughed

Artery looked at the lid of the loo and began to cry.

* * *

**_OK I AM DONE! BUT I GOT A MEGA GOOD IDEA I WANNA RUN BY MY FRIENDS. LORD LOSS IN THE ELAVATOR! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE!_**


End file.
